Too Long Gone

So, too much time has passed since I last posted. Now I must try to play catch up...story of my life! Halloween was quite busy this year. Josh and I went to our 10 year law school reunion. We had a great time, stayed up way too late, introduced our son to old friends, watched the horses race at Keeneland, drove around to our old haunts in Lexington and spent time with some of the best friends we will ever have!!

Saturday we rushed home just in time to trick or treat. I have made it a priority to raise my son to have his own creative, open mind .... so what does he decide to be for Halloween .... Johnny Cash. I tried to sell him on spiderman or batman but he had his mind made up. Many people have asked how or why we talked him into this. I have explained numerous times that, while I do like Johnny Cash, we are not die-hard fans. There is only one JC song on my ipod. This idea was totally his! A couple years ago my husband received a JC cd in a gift bag at an event and gave it to our son .... we assumed it would be scratched and tossed quickly. Dear son still has this cd and loves Johnny Cash and the song Jackson specifically. (On a side note, I know he is going to have an eclectic love for music like his moma ... his other favorite song is Tricky by Run DMC ... HA!)

Halloween and trick or treating was a huge success. We trick or treat with great friends in downtown Franklin. One house transforms their garage into a haunted house and another house hired a KISS cover band to play on their front lawn ... the kids had a blast!!

My nephew Trey, who was in a terrible car accident in May, loves the band Paramore. When he was in the trauma ICU we bought an ipod to play his music for him. He heard Hayley's voice, the lead singer of Paramore, and it became one of the things he seemed to respond to when he was in a coma. I promised him that if he got well enough and they played Nashville I would take him. He and I actually share a love for their music ... I too am a fan. Interestingly, Paramore is a local band ... they live in Franklin.

Trey is doing so amazingly well. He is home. He is in high school in his senior year. He still goes to rehab, but is approaching %100 recovery. He is a miracle.

Sunday was a special day. Paramore played the Ryman in Nashville and we took Trey and a friend of his. It was Trey's first concert and he was excited ... hell, I was excited! The band was so so good. Paramore couldn't take the stage until every teenage girl there had taken a picture of Taylor Swift sitting in the balcony. But when they finally played they were awesome. Hayley Williams has an amazing voice. And if you haven't been to a show at the Ryman and you love music you should do it. I have been to several and it is the most unbelievable venue. Truly like church. There is a tradition of musicians doing a song with no sound on stage. That means no amplification at all. Hayley decided to do this and it was breathtaking. Everyone got silent and she sang Loretta Lynn's You Ain't Woman Enough to Take my Man. All I can say is WOW. Not sure a lot of the kids there knew what they were seeing, but I bet they never forget it. I think Trey loved every minute. And I felt blessed to be there with him.

TMJ disorder is a bitch

Dear temporomandibular joint,

You suck. 

Why must you hurt so? Chewing, talking and moving my mouth are required daily actions. Therefore, I would appreciate doing them in peace. 

I agree to getting massages and wearing a bite guard. In return, I expect you to leave me the hell alone!!

Regards,

Me and my face

Back to normal..

I am ready for life to return to normal, although I don't know what that is anymore.  The concept of "back to normal" really is a farce. Once you have experienced some difficult things in life it is impossible and, if you think about it, undesirable to go back to who you were before. All of our experiences change us...for the better if you are open to it. 

I am a firm believer that the joy in life is in the journey, not the destination. There is a sign hanging in my son's room that says childhood is a journey not a race. He has been repeating these words since he began talking. I only hope that I am succeeding in showing him the pleasure of living life in the moment. My journey lately has been a little bumpy. Some smooth sailing would be nice for a while.

As I am typing, rain has begun to fall beneath a beautiful sun-filled sky. This is always a sign to me to go hunting for treasure. So we are off to find a rainbow, and I can explain to my little guy that the adventure of looking for rainbows IS the treasure. 

It has been three weeks today that Trey had his car accident. He is still on the trauma floor at Vanderbilt, but we received the great news today that he will be transfered in the morning to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. This is a place that specializes in brain injuries and it is exactly what Trey needs. We are all so thankful the insurance approved this move!!

Trey has come a long way in three weeks.....a long, long way. He still has his trach and a feeding tube, but all other tubes are gone. He looks like our boy again without so many things hooked up to him. His lungs are healing so great and he is off all antibiotics. Blood pressure is great and pulse is great. We are thankful.

The best thing....last Thursday he woke up! He looks at us when we say his name. Now, he still has a lot of healing and recovery, but we are seeing miracles everyday. I have always called him Trey boy....well now he is miracle boy. He is a kid that wasn't even expected to survive the helicopter trip to Vandy and as of tomorrow we are off the trauma unit!

Trey still has a lot of obstacles ahead of him and we have encountered many many naysayers. We have been told the damage is too great and there is too much wrong in his brain to overcome....but we are calling on a higher power to help in the healing we need. He has already shocked and awed the doctors and nurses here and so he is off to Georgia to give those folks a run for their money.

We are a very close family. Trey is my brother's oldest son, but I love him enough he could be my own. No one can tell us if he will ever walk again or talk again or finish school. But I have faith that God has big plans for this special kid and I can't wait to see what he accomplishes.

This can't be real....

How did we get here? That is how I feel every time I go into the hospital and see my nephew in that bed, hooked up to all of those machines...this can't be real....

But I know it is real and we are all praying and encouraging Trey to find his way back to us. 

I spent the night at the hospital again last night. My sister and I. Sleeping in the visitors room....well not really sleeping...mostly waiting. My sister is a physician...it is so nice to have someone to interpret the medical jargon that goes over the heads of us normal people.

I went in to check on Trey at 3:00 am and he had experienced a blockage in his lung....they were doing many things to treat this and I was assured it was "normal"...or to be expected with all of the severe trauma he had suffered to both lungs. I, of course, was alarmed. I debated doing to wake my sister, but decided just to stay with Trey while the nurses got him settled down.

He began to kick his legs. The nurse commented to the doctor that the blockage had aggitated Trey and he had been kicking a lot and was strong. I was holding his hand and felt him squeeze my fingers. I informed the nurse that Trey played soccer for his high school and that he was a kicker.... Well clearly Trey intended to demonstrate his ability because when I talked about soccer he started kicking the end of the bed....such a great thing to see!!  

What an awesome feeling to know he hears me and is responding to what we are saying....this is what I have to believe.

Trey is no longer sedated but has not opened his eyes... While it has only been a little over two days, it feels like months since the accident. I just pray and wait to see those beautiful blue eyes! 

He has a tracheotomy for the ventilator now...but the vent is turned way down, so he is breathing mostly for himself. One chest tube came out today...every little step is progress. Slowly, I believe he is healing. The ct scan still shows no change - good news! I am so ready for him to come back to us....and so we wait and pray.

Two steps forward one step back....

My nephew Trey is such an awesome kid. He is funny and bright, a good student and a kind heart. I hope my son is as much of a gentleman at 16 as Trey is. He is a great dancer and looooves music....I wish we could play Fall Out Boy or Paramore in the trauma unit..his favorite bands. Trey is a friend to everyone he meets. He is an amazing cousin to my little guy...even with the 12 year age difference.

We continue to have two steps forward and one step back. He was off the ventilator and now back on. His neuro exams are good...but not great. I have faith he will get back all of the qualities that make him Trey...but for now we pray for healing. I just want to see him breath on his own or open his eyes.

Thanks for your prayers and well wished....they mean so much!

Prayers

My 16 year old nephew Trey was in a very serious car accident tonight. He was life flighted from Kentucky to Vanderbilt University Trauma center. He has many injuries including collasped lungs, cracked kidney and liver, fractured pelvis, 4 broken ribs, bruised intestines, lacerations to the face. He had his spleen removed a few hours ago. The most serious condition is bruising in the frontal lobe and left ventrical of his brain. He is on a ventilator and heavily sedated and we are praying.

I live just outside of Nashville so I was the first here to meet him when the helicopter arrived. It was beyond devastating. This little boy I held in my arms when he was born. He should be going to the prom Saturday night and picked up his tux today. He bought red converse tennis shoes to wear with the tux....he is a fun kid.

I can't remember seeing something so terrifying. Phone calls like those seem unreal. You hope you are being punk'd. But this is real and I am typing from a waiting room in the trauma center. My brother and sister-in-law are brave.

The doctors believe things are going as well as can be expected. Neuro tests, so far, are positive. Brain injuries are a wait and see kind of thing. I can't wait to see him open his eyes.

Prayers or good thoughts, please, for our Trey boy and our family.