Too Long Gone

So, too much time has passed since I last posted. Now I must try to play catch up...story of my life! Halloween was quite busy this year. Josh and I went to our 10 year law school reunion. We had a great time, stayed up way too late, introduced our son to old friends, watched the horses race at Keeneland, drove around to our old haunts in Lexington and spent time with some of the best friends we will ever have!!

Saturday we rushed home just in time to trick or treat. I have made it a priority to raise my son to have his own creative, open mind .... so what does he decide to be for Halloween .... Johnny Cash. I tried to sell him on spiderman or batman but he had his mind made up. Many people have asked how or why we talked him into this. I have explained numerous times that, while I do like Johnny Cash, we are not die-hard fans. There is only one JC song on my ipod. This idea was totally his! A couple years ago my husband received a JC cd in a gift bag at an event and gave it to our son .... we assumed it would be scratched and tossed quickly. Dear son still has this cd and loves Johnny Cash and the song Jackson specifically. (On a side note, I know he is going to have an eclectic love for music like his moma ... his other favorite song is Tricky by Run DMC ... HA!)

Halloween and trick or treating was a huge success. We trick or treat with great friends in downtown Franklin. One house transforms their garage into a haunted house and another house hired a KISS cover band to play on their front lawn ... the kids had a blast!!

My nephew Trey, who was in a terrible car accident in May, loves the band Paramore. When he was in the trauma ICU we bought an ipod to play his music for him. He heard Hayley's voice, the lead singer of Paramore, and it became one of the things he seemed to respond to when he was in a coma. I promised him that if he got well enough and they played Nashville I would take him. He and I actually share a love for their music ... I too am a fan. Interestingly, Paramore is a local band ... they live in Franklin.

Trey is doing so amazingly well. He is home. He is in high school in his senior year. He still goes to rehab, but is approaching %100 recovery. He is a miracle.

Sunday was a special day. Paramore played the Ryman in Nashville and we took Trey and a friend of his. It was Trey's first concert and he was excited ... hell, I was excited! The band was so so good. Paramore couldn't take the stage until every teenage girl there had taken a picture of Taylor Swift sitting in the balcony. But when they finally played they were awesome. Hayley Williams has an amazing voice. And if you haven't been to a show at the Ryman and you love music you should do it. I have been to several and it is the most unbelievable venue. Truly like church. There is a tradition of musicians doing a song with no sound on stage. That means no amplification at all. Hayley decided to do this and it was breathtaking. Everyone got silent and she sang Loretta Lynn's You Ain't Woman Enough to Take my Man. All I can say is WOW. Not sure a lot of the kids there knew what they were seeing, but I bet they never forget it. I think Trey loved every minute. And I felt blessed to be there with him.

TMJ disorder is a bitch

Dear temporomandibular joint,

You suck. 

Why must you hurt so? Chewing, talking and moving my mouth are required daily actions. Therefore, I would appreciate doing them in peace. 

I agree to getting massages and wearing a bite guard. In return, I expect you to leave me the hell alone!!

Regards,

Me and my face

Back to normal..

I am ready for life to return to normal, although I don't know what that is anymore.  The concept of "back to normal" really is a farce. Once you have experienced some difficult things in life it is impossible and, if you think about it, undesirable to go back to who you were before. All of our experiences change us...for the better if you are open to it. 

I am a firm believer that the joy in life is in the journey, not the destination. There is a sign hanging in my son's room that says childhood is a journey not a race. He has been repeating these words since he began talking. I only hope that I am succeeding in showing him the pleasure of living life in the moment. My journey lately has been a little bumpy. Some smooth sailing would be nice for a while.

As I am typing, rain has begun to fall beneath a beautiful sun-filled sky. This is always a sign to me to go hunting for treasure. So we are off to find a rainbow, and I can explain to my little guy that the adventure of looking for rainbows IS the treasure. 

It has been three weeks today that Trey had his car accident. He is still on the trauma floor at Vanderbilt, but we received the great news today that he will be transfered in the morning to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. This is a place that specializes in brain injuries and it is exactly what Trey needs. We are all so thankful the insurance approved this move!!

Trey has come a long way in three weeks.....a long, long way. He still has his trach and a feeding tube, but all other tubes are gone. He looks like our boy again without so many things hooked up to him. His lungs are healing so great and he is off all antibiotics. Blood pressure is great and pulse is great. We are thankful.

The best thing....last Thursday he woke up! He looks at us when we say his name. Now, he still has a lot of healing and recovery, but we are seeing miracles everyday. I have always called him Trey boy....well now he is miracle boy. He is a kid that wasn't even expected to survive the helicopter trip to Vandy and as of tomorrow we are off the trauma unit!

Trey still has a lot of obstacles ahead of him and we have encountered many many naysayers. We have been told the damage is too great and there is too much wrong in his brain to overcome....but we are calling on a higher power to help in the healing we need. He has already shocked and awed the doctors and nurses here and so he is off to Georgia to give those folks a run for their money.

We are a very close family. Trey is my brother's oldest son, but I love him enough he could be my own. No one can tell us if he will ever walk again or talk again or finish school. But I have faith that God has big plans for this special kid and I can't wait to see what he accomplishes.

This can't be real....

How did we get here? That is how I feel every time I go into the hospital and see my nephew in that bed, hooked up to all of those machines...this can't be real....

But I know it is real and we are all praying and encouraging Trey to find his way back to us. 

I spent the night at the hospital again last night. My sister and I. Sleeping in the visitors room....well not really sleeping...mostly waiting. My sister is a physician...it is so nice to have someone to interpret the medical jargon that goes over the heads of us normal people.

I went in to check on Trey at 3:00 am and he had experienced a blockage in his lung....they were doing many things to treat this and I was assured it was "normal"...or to be expected with all of the severe trauma he had suffered to both lungs. I, of course, was alarmed. I debated doing to wake my sister, but decided just to stay with Trey while the nurses got him settled down.

He began to kick his legs. The nurse commented to the doctor that the blockage had aggitated Trey and he had been kicking a lot and was strong. I was holding his hand and felt him squeeze my fingers. I informed the nurse that Trey played soccer for his high school and that he was a kicker.... Well clearly Trey intended to demonstrate his ability because when I talked about soccer he started kicking the end of the bed....such a great thing to see!!  

What an awesome feeling to know he hears me and is responding to what we are saying....this is what I have to believe.

Trey is no longer sedated but has not opened his eyes... While it has only been a little over two days, it feels like months since the accident. I just pray and wait to see those beautiful blue eyes! 

He has a tracheotomy for the ventilator now...but the vent is turned way down, so he is breathing mostly for himself. One chest tube came out today...every little step is progress. Slowly, I believe he is healing. The ct scan still shows no change - good news! I am so ready for him to come back to us....and so we wait and pray.

Two steps forward one step back....

My nephew Trey is such an awesome kid. He is funny and bright, a good student and a kind heart. I hope my son is as much of a gentleman at 16 as Trey is. He is a great dancer and looooves music....I wish we could play Fall Out Boy or Paramore in the trauma unit..his favorite bands. Trey is a friend to everyone he meets. He is an amazing cousin to my little guy...even with the 12 year age difference.

We continue to have two steps forward and one step back. He was off the ventilator and now back on. His neuro exams are good...but not great. I have faith he will get back all of the qualities that make him Trey...but for now we pray for healing. I just want to see him breath on his own or open his eyes.

Thanks for your prayers and well wished....they mean so much!

Prayers

My 16 year old nephew Trey was in a very serious car accident tonight. He was life flighted from Kentucky to Vanderbilt University Trauma center. He has many injuries including collasped lungs, cracked kidney and liver, fractured pelvis, 4 broken ribs, bruised intestines, lacerations to the face. He had his spleen removed a few hours ago. The most serious condition is bruising in the frontal lobe and left ventrical of his brain. He is on a ventilator and heavily sedated and we are praying.

I live just outside of Nashville so I was the first here to meet him when the helicopter arrived. It was beyond devastating. This little boy I held in my arms when he was born. He should be going to the prom Saturday night and picked up his tux today. He bought red converse tennis shoes to wear with the tux....he is a fun kid.

I can't remember seeing something so terrifying. Phone calls like those seem unreal. You hope you are being punk'd. But this is real and I am typing from a waiting room in the trauma center. My brother and sister-in-law are brave.

The doctors believe things are going as well as can be expected. Neuro tests, so far, are positive. Brain injuries are a wait and see kind of thing. I can't wait to see him open his eyes.

Prayers or good thoughts, please, for our Trey boy and our family.

And they're off...

The first Saturday of May is a very big day for Kentuckians. The running of the Kentucky Derby. It is the one day of the year we dispel every stereotype associated with the bluegrass state.  Ladies don silk suits, fancy dresses and elegant hats and men wear linen or seersucker suits and straw fedoras.....and we all wear shoes!

The Derby is often referred to as the most exciting two minutes in sports, which is true, but it is so much more. The Kentucky Derby is long steeped in history and southern charm. It is not just another horse race....it is THE horse race and the classiest way to spend a day.

I have been fortunate to attend the Derby several times. Truly one of the best experiences in my life. We lived in Louisville for a few years after law school and I was lucky enough to get access to a third floor box in the grandstand at Churchill Downs. Let me tell you...these are not easy to come by...and we made the most of them. 

I love to go to the races, but the Derby is just different. It is absolutely magical. Going to the paddock to see the horses with their massive beauty and power, sipping mint juleps surrounded by people in such proper attire. Spending the entire day watching and betting on races and trying to choose your horse for the BIG race. Pomp and circumstance is not usually my thing but this feels like a whole other time....a throw back to a different era.

As the main attraction draws closer you hear Dan Folgelberg's Run for the Roses playing and then you hear the announcement for the singing of My Old Kentucky Home. The words are put up on the infield tote board. Everyone stands and everyone sings...and some of us cry. I will never understand what it is about that song....all I can say is God bless Stephen Foster. 

Anyway, next comes a trumpeter playing the call to the post and the Derby contenders parade onto the track and head for the starting line. As the horses break from the gates you hear the announcer's famous line....."and they're off!" For the next two minutes everyone is on their feet, screaming and jumping and hats are flying. In as quickly as it begins the horses are rounding for the finish line and you can feel the vibration as they approach....and then its over and there is a new Kentucky Derby winner....a 135 year legacy behind them. 

Derby eve in Louisville is always spent at a Derby party. Those who don't attend the Derby begin the celebration in the middle of the afternoon and it goes on all day. I don't think there is a better excuse for a party. Now that we live in Tennessee we host an annual Derby party and every year the guest list grows. I was schooled in what makes a fittin' Derby soiree in the years I lived in Louisville. Now I'm not big on rules, but I am huge on tradition and because the ultimate Derby party is one big tradition I follow it closely.

The most important ingredient for a Derby party is the Mint Julep. I make my mint-infused sugar syrup myself and I only serve Woodford Reserve Kentucky bourbon....it is the best...trust me I've tried them all! You always serve a mint julep over shaved ice and with a straw, as a julep is to be sipped if enjoyed properly. We have a big collection of Derby glasses, the glass used to serve juleps at the track.....one of the few things I collect and fun to have for the party. 

The menu at my Derby party includes beef tenderloin with Henry Bain sauce, country ham biscuits, benedictine sandwiches (a cucumber cream cheese spread), marinated asparagus, cheese straws, fruit with freshly whipped cream, lemon bars and of course Derby pie (random trivia - Derby pie is a trademarked name.) Though I hate to show my own neuroses, I will admit that I cook everything myself and everything from scratch....no catering allowed!

We make sure there are plenty of televisions so everyone can see the race, we stand for the singing of My Old Kentucky Home, we all choose a horse to root for and we make certain everyone has a fresh julep at all times! It is a wonderful day. Derby day is one of my favorite days of the year. The heritage of the event, the majesty of the horses and the southern hospitality. It is a hell of a reason to have a party.

So come the first Saturday in May next year, if you are so inclined, channel your inner southern charm and throw a Derby party. School your friends and family in some Derby history, download the words to My Old Kentucky Home, provide racing forms so everyone can choose a horse, look up recipes for Mint Juleps and benedictine, get yourself a fancy hat and have a damn good time!

p.s.  Congratulations Mine that Bird, the 135th winner of the Kentucky Derby and the second biggest upset in Derby history

Living on a movie set!!

What an amazing weekend!

Every spring downtown Franklin is closed down and transformed into a big production - the Main Street Festival. There are all kinds of vendors....artists, crafts people, any kind of "fair" food you can imagine, a beer garden and lots and lots of live music. One whole street is set up as a child's dream....inflatable castles and slides, petting zoo, pony rides, rock-climbing wall and much more. We look forward to this weekend each year.

As an extension of the festival there is a small carnival that sets up a couple blocks from main street and it arrives a few days early. So we began our weekend by spending friday night watching the dear boy ride all of the little kid rides....which he adores! He also got brave enough to ride his first big-boy ride...the ferris wheel...I love! So he and I got on and Josh waited...he is not a fan. I wasn't sure if he would love it or hate it and on the first time around he screamed bloody murder...I thought it was all over. But on the second time around I put my hands into the air and began laughing and to my surprise he did the same. He is officially converted....loves the thrill!

Saturday we had a soccer game and then Josh and I went into Nashville to see Jason Mraz and the Dave Matthews Band play at Vanderbilt Stadium. Such a blast! Dave Matthews always makes me think of college. The dear boy stayed home with a babysitter...he loves her so everyone was happy!

Sunday after church we spent the whole afternoon at the festival. We bought some new art for the house, listened to some amazing live music, had lunch and the little guy exhausted himself at the kid's area. The funny thing is each year at this event I overhear visitors to our sleepy little town...they always say the same things....our town is like out of a movie, or like it isn't real...too good to be true. This always reminds me how lucky we are to live here and how life is good living on our little movie set.

Today I was riding in the car with my son, on my way to replace the glasses I broke in the night. Strangely enough I sleep in my glasses, odd I know. I can't stand the feeling of waking up and not being able to see. But I digress....

So he was talking non-stop but quietly so I asked him who he was talking to and he said "Invisible." I said how nice it must be to have an invisible friend and asked his/her name. I was informed that Invisible is NOT an invisible friend, but rather the invisible form of my son. So I'm guessing we now have my dear boy's subconscious riding around with us and weighing in on everything we do. 

I asked for a lunch suggestion. The dear boy replied he would like a healthy salad from Meridee's (local restaurant) but that Invisible insisted we go to Chic-fil-A. Sad thing is....Invisible won. You really do have to pick your battles and I refuse to fight this one!!

On a side note there is an amazing new artist I am just in love with. Bibis Ellison. Her voice reminds me of the Baptisit church "singings" I went to as a child...pure talent. 

Check her out...Dear boy said and I quote "whoa she is something awesome!" The video is a little gift from the folks at Southern Gothic Productions. They will be producing Bibis and bringing her to us digitally very soon. I personally can't wait. Thanks guys!

What makes a king?

Picture it...Tupelo, Mississippi....April 7, 2009    

I am visiting my sister and her family with the dear boy. Josh stayed home to work. It is spring break. We are in the car.   

dear boy - moma why are there no sidewalks where aunt joannie lives?

(my sister lives outside the city on several acres)

me - aunt joannie lives out in the country because she doesn't like neighbors

dear boy - how does cooper(cousin) walk downtown like we do at home?

me - he can't do that out here

dear boy - well i wouldn't want to live here because there are no sidewalks

me - well we aren't moving to tupelo so don't worry about it

dear boy - why do some people move to tupelo?

me - lots of reasons...but one thing tupelo is known for is that Elvis was born here...do you remember talking about who Elvis was?

(we live in franklin,tn where there are all kinds of music references all over town...one being a lifesize cutout of Elvis in our favorite meat 'n three)

dear boy - he is a rock 'n roll guy

me - he is called the king of rock 'n roll

dear boy - why moma? does he have a castle?

me - no..not a real king and no castle...he lived in a tiny little house here in tupelo when he was a boy...and then a big house in Memphis but he passed away a long time ago...would you like for me to drive you out to see his house? you can go in it

dear boy - are there sidewalks at his house?

me - I don't remember sweetie...it has been several years since I was there...but I don't think so

dear boy - then I don't want to go....what kind of a king doesn't have sidewalks!!

Just goes to show...you may be one of the most popular artists of all time...have tons of number one hits...have a shrine that is flocked to like mecca...but if your childhood home doesn't have sidewalks, then my four-year-old thinks you are a sad excuse for a king. No sidewalks...geezzzzz!! 

The old stuff store

So yesterday I spent a couple hours in antique stores in downtown Franklin with my son, who is four and a half (the half is very important you know!). It is easy to see he has been doing this since birth because he enjoys it - calls it going to the old stuff store. Anyway, I was looking at a quilt and really wanted to buy it but thought it was really too much to pay...knowing it would end up on the floor...covered in cheerios...or outside...as all my others do. The dear boy and I walked away from the quilt and he said "moma why didn't you buy that cover you loved?" To this I replied "because, baby, it was as high as a cat's back".

I kept walking and he was silent. Then he said "moma, you sure say a lot of funny things." In that instant I realized he was right. We southerners have a whole slew of "funny" ways of expressing ourselves. Clearly, this one was new to him, but there are many others that are already a part of his venacular. These "funny things" we say in the south are passed down from generation to generation like true heirlooms. My dear boy has already inherited much at his tender age.

When I tell him not to be ugly, which is often, he knows that his moma is not referring to his looks but his behavior. He knows that hearing he is being 'too big for his britches' is a warning. By the way, he calls all pants, britches - so cute! He understands when an older person tells him they are going to 'put a brick on his head' they are saying how big he has gotten. He knows that at night we eat supper - never dinner! He even gets what it is to be 'up a creek without a paddle' (after much explanation.) And one time he asked me why some kids have a mommy and others have a moma. I said "its a southern thing" and he said "well I like it - moma". And so do I.

Daddies and Lightnin' Bugs

There is just something about a little girl and her daddy - especially the southern variety. He is the light in her eyes, her first true love! My daddy (and my moma) raised two strong and independent girls (and one kick-ass guy too!). He made damn sure we could take care of ourselves...careful to pass along "necessary" lessons. We learned to check the oil in our cars, mow the grass and proficiently use a hammer to drive a nail.

The very first time I remember trying to use a hammer I was tapping old nails into the lids of mason jars. Jars and nails found in my daddy's garage - where you can still find at least one of anything. My best friend and I were readying ourselves for a serious evening of catching lightnin' bugs, making sure their new home had sufficient "breathing holes." I can't remember how old we were, but young enough to believe the little fellas would still be glowing atop my dresser the next morning. Of course, they weren't, and I can still remember the disappointment when we woke up and peered into that old jar.

Though I am now a grown woman, today I feel exactly like that little girl...... All of the excitement of the future glowing in front of me and the realization that eventually some lights go out. My daddy, the first light in my eyes, is sick. Oh how I wish spring would hurry and wake-up the lightnin' bugs.

Always..............

Susan